Our baby is eight months old! Eight!! How is this even possible?
She’s crawling everywhere and is a force that can’t be stopped. She’s starting to pull herself to her knees so I’m thinking she’ll be furniture surfing next?? She’s always keeping us on our toes.
She’s also started clapping, leaning in for kisses, giving (open-mouth) kisses (lol), handing toys to us, and she’s saying Dada. We’ve started some solid foods with her since a little before 6 months and she’s definitely sensitive to weird textures, so we’re having to try certain foods a few times before she eats them. It’s such an exciting thing to see her learn and start making these connections with us.
Once she started crawling at about 7.5 months, the next sleep regression/growth spurt started and my gosh that one was the worst yet. A lot of scream crying at naps/bedtime or not sleeping at all. There were two nights one of us sat upright and slept while holding her because she wouldn’t stay asleep otherwise. The moment she felt us trying to lay her down she would wake and start crying. Desperate times! She otherwise has slept in her crib and does great in it.
As hard as those moments are they are SO temporary and all the fun moments outweigh the sleep deprivation. She’s a tiny person going through so much change and growth, I wish I could do more to help her in those times.
This week I’ve had to keep her home with me. The daycare class closed due to a couple teachers catching covid. Thankfully Grace hasn’t shown any symptoms and she seems OK. I’ve been working while taking care of her and it’s definitely hard, but I’m soaking up this extra time I get to spend with her.
It’s really true when people say once their baby is born that it was as if they always existed. For years on this blog I’ve cried and pleaded for this miracle. Tried to imagine her face or her laugh. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t look at her and think “how is she real?” I’m so thankful God brought her to us.
It’s been awhile since my last post! Sleep deprivation and figuring out a newborn is very hard and exhausting!
Gracie is now four months old, I can’t believe it. I can now say things are much better than they were in the very beginning. I can also say that 12 weeks maternity leave isn’t enough. It seems like a long time, but just when you start to figure things out and get into somewhat of a routine, you have to leave your baby. I’m thankful for the flexibility I have with my job that I’m only gone for a few hours midday then I’m back home to document notes or am simply done for the day. A totally remote position kind of fell in my lap and I’ll be starting that in the next couple of weeks! I’ll be doing the same thing I am now, just over the phone. I’m grateful for the chance to be just a flight of stairs away from my baby while I’m working.
Gracie has been sleeping longer stretches through the night. Since about 8-9 weeks she would sleep from between 8-9 PM then wake up around 4 AM for a bottle. She naturally wanted an earlier bedtime and will go to sleep anywhere between 6-7 PM now. My husband gets up at 4 AM for work, so he takes care of her then puts her back down. I then get her back up around 8 AM.
I mentioned on my Instagram that I made the decision to exclusively pump because she couldn’t handle my fast letdown. I tried everything to make it easier for her and it still wasn’t getting better. My lactation consultant said it can take babies time to get the suck, swallow, breathe rhythym down, but I didn’t want to keep struggling and making things harder for us both. She had all the symptoms of getting too much foremilk since she couldn’t stay latched and get a full feeding. She was gassy with reflux, fussy, hungry more often, and had a couple of green poops. As soon as we got into a routine of bottle feeding, she started sleeping longer in between feedings and her other symptoms went away.
Breastfeeding and exclusively pumping are each difficult in their own ways. I’m thankful Tay can help with feedings now (really anyone) but I also have the added task of pumping every 3 hours and cleaning the parts each time. I tried to nurse her at night once I was consistently pumping during the day; some feedings went well but others she still struggled with my letdown. I stopped nursing altogether and we’ve both been much happier. I miss the bond that nursing brings, and I cried when I stopped, but I feel good knowing she can still get my breastmilk.
Since getting into the night routine I mentioned earlier, I eliminated my middle of the night pump session around 11 weeks. I slowly eliminated it by decreasing my pump time by 5 minutes every third night. I knew I couldn’t stop cold turkey as I have an oversupply and clogged ducts would surely result. Speaking of, I’ve struggled with clogged ducts in my left boob every few days for weeks and weeks on end. I came to realize, after watching videos on Legendairy Milk’s Instagram, I was using the wrong flange size. Much too large, it was putting pressure on my ducts and causing recurrent clogs. I measured myself with their printable nipple ruler and went down from a 21mm to a 17mm flange. I don’t have pain anymore while I pump and it’s been a week without any clogs *knock on wood.* This has honestly made the mental aspect of pumping so much easier and now I feel like I can do this much longer. I pump six times a day (630a, 930a, 1230p, 4p, 730p, 1030p) and plan to drop my 730pm session sometime this month. I’m nervous so we’ll see if I push it off or not!
Since I have an oversupply I’ve filled our deep freezer and am now running out of room in our regular freezer. I’ve applied to donate my milk and am just waiting for approval on that to do so. Gracie doesn’t seem to care for my thawed milk, but I’m hoping she’ll take it easier once she starts eating solids.
She’s really taking in everything around her and has learned she can do things with her hands. She pulls toys and teethers to her mouth, wants to pet the dogs, is holding her bottle on her own more, and touches our faces. She smiles a ton and will giggle at the most random things. She rolled over from back to belly for the first time over Labor Day weekend and I was *so* excited I caught it on video. And yes I cried a little as I processed what happened. Grace used to only sleep for naps if she was lying on me and now she will put herself to sleep when you lay her down in her crib. She still sleeps in the bassinet beside me at night, but I know the time is short before she’ll be in her crib full time.
I get so excited to see her grow and blossom into her own little person. I’m also sad thinking back to how much more she needed me then versus now. It’s all so fleeting. Daily I have the thought of how thankful I am that she’s here and I’ve waited so long to have her. I think, “She’s real, we made her. I have a daughter.” I choke up saying “my daughter” or that I’m her mother when the doctor’s office asks my relation to her (per protocol for safety). I never thought I’d get to say those words.
I could go on and on honestly. Life is busy and wonderful with our little girl and I’m thankful for how exhausted I feel each day. I’ve prayed and pleaded for it for so many years. I’ve cried from feeling overwhelmed many times, but I’m reminded those feelings are temporary too. My heart is outside of me now that she’s here. ❤
The journey to our baby was a long one to say the least. I always find it therapeutic to write out life’s experiences and of course this time is no different.
After meeting weekly with my OB for the last month of my pregnancy, he agreed we should schedule an induction given higher risk of stillbirth and other complications the further past my due date I went. I also was only a fingertip dilated and about 50% effaced. I was experiencing more frequent braxton hicks, but no other signs labor was near. At 40 weeks 2 days, we went to the hospital on Tuesday morning May 3rd to start the induction process.
For me this entailed taking two doses of cytotec about 4 hours apart to start. Tuesday evening a Foley bulb was placed to further dilate me as I was slightly more effaced, but not dilated after the cytotec. The bulb gave me an early taste of labor contractions and I really zoned in on my breathing and getting through each one. I used the ball, wide stance on a stool, and standing/swaying while listening to music to help get me through. I was about 3cm after the bulb fell out. I think I was started on pitocin at this point to encourage stronger contractions and further dilation.
By this point it was Wednesday morning and my water was broken around 11 am. This was the weirdest thing to feel! It didn’t hurt at all, the cervical exam to actually break it was more uncomfortable than anything and that wasn’t even that bad. As soon as the doctor broke it there was a huge gush and it even surprised him enough to say “oh!” and he jumped back a little. My water continued leaking all the way up until active pushing, especially more began coming out when I was having back to back contractions.
The nurse continued to titrate my pitocin to the highest dose, eventually reaching 20 milliunits by Wednesday night. I tried to rest before the contractions got worse, but it was too late and they were very strong. I felt the need to groan and breath to try to get through each one. I was checked again at some point and was 6cm. I asked for the pitocin to be slowed down and to get an epidural. It took about an hour to get the epidural as they had another patient getting a c-section at the same time.
Once the epidural was placed I of course felt instant relief. I could still feel the contractions, but the pain wasn’t there. I took this time to sleep and allow my body to continue dilating. The nurse checked me at 4am on Thursday and I was fully dilated and effaced. A half hour later I started pushing.
Pushing was tiring after so long of doing it, I was doing 4 reps of 10 seconds per contraction and I started dozing off to sleep in between them. I was starting to see her head coming down, but not much change happening with each push. So much time had passed and I asked the nurses if it should be taking so long. It had been over 4 hours of pushing and the nurse said no, it shouldn’t be. The Doctor came in not too long after and examined where the baby was, stated her head was turned sideways and that’s why she wasn’t descending any further past my pubic bone. The doctor made the decision to do a c-section as there was no way I was going to be able to push her out.
Gosh did I cry.
I kept a very open mind with my labor and delivery that whatever needed to happen to bring my baby earthside, I would do it. Processing this news wasn’t any less emotional though and I sobbed some good tears. After the doctor left the room, multiple nurses, the anesthesiologist, and others came into the room and Taylor was prepped while I was getting my epidural re-administered. I remember feeling scared as I’d never had a major surgery before and the anesthesiologist had the most calming voice to talk me through it all.
I felt lots of pressure, tugging, and pulling throughout the surgery. I did feel pain at one point and they upped my meds to stop it. My arms were shaking so bad from all the meds, I literally couldn’t control them on the arm rests on either side of me. Tay was sitting next to me the whole time trying to keep me calm. It was about 20 minutes for us to be taken to the OR and then shortly after she was born.
Hearing her cry for the first time was something I’ll never forget. The nurse actually had to provoke her a little to get her to cry more as she was just looking all around and not crying too much. Everything was fine with her and Taylor took videos and pictures while she was examined and cleaned up. She was placed on my chest so I could meet her, but she was swaddled. I didn’t do skin to skin until I was being wheeled back to our regular room. She was so alert and I just kept staring at her eyes, telling her we waited so long to meet her. That I loved her. At some point when they were finishing up I fell asleep from all the meds, Tay said he asked them if I was OK and reassured him I was. The next couple of hours back in our room were a blur. I was still pretty out of it, I remember my mouth was extremely dry. The nurses were trying to help me breastfeed for the first time.
The days that followed were very emotional as all my hormones were dropping and I was processing everything that happened. My belly was still huge but nothing was in there anymore. My pain and soreness limited my ability to do pretty much anything for myself. We were both (and still are) trying to figure out this new little person. It’s a lot to go through emotionally and physically in such a short amount of time.
Postpartum I’m trying to keep talking about my feelings and letting myself cry if I need to. I’m also accepting help from Taylor and others for things I would normally do myself. Breastfeeding is a whole other topic on its own, but with help from family and lactation consultants, that seems to be going pretty well. Taylor and I will look at each other and say “It still doesn’t feel real.”
My nights of sleep are pretty broken nowadays. Between having to readjust from hip pain to my hands being numb and waking me up, to getting up for my nightly pee and the occasional heartburn, I have lots of things keeping me up. I’m certain this is nature’s way of preparing me for newborn life.
I’m sitting up in bed at the moment as I woke up with an upset stomach/heartburn and just can’t go back to sleep just yet. Little girl starts moving around and I think gosh I’m going to miss feeling her rolls and jabs. But I know the best is yet to come.
I have reached that uncomfortable, I’m tired of being pregnant stage. I’m beyond grateful to experience this and want her to come when she’s ready, but the excitement is building to the day we get to meet her. It’s been a long wait.
I envision her birth and hearing her first cry, getting to hold her for the first time, kissing Taylor amidst tears, all of it. I’m praying for a safe birth for us both and one that isn’t traumatic. My ideal is to be able to birth unmedicated, but I’m keeping an open mind if things change or I can’t handle the pain.
I’m praying I go into labor on my own and I’m trying not to worry about the possibility of not doing so. As of my cervical check last week I didn’t show any dilation/effacement yet. Feeling discouraged. Hopeful my body will do what it’s supposed to on its own. It brought me back to those feelings during our infertility treatments; my body kept failing at what it was supposed to do naturally and that fear crept in again. Another check this week and I’m hoping for some change. I’ve been walking and staying active, while still taking naps and taking lots of rest breaks. Braxton hicks started a couple weeks ago and they’re only occasional.
Pregnancy is such a beautiful, painful, life altering experience and I have no doubt labor and her birth will be the same. My bag is packed, the car seat installed, nursery done. I’m ready to bring you earthside, little one.
Tomorrow I’ll be 32 weeks pregnant! I swear this whole journey has been surreal and I’m so indescribably thankful. We had a private scan done and got to see her face; she was yawning, opening her eyes, sucking her thumb, and sticking her tongue out. She’s got chunky cheeks already and I can’t wait to hold her. One of my friends said “she’s a whole freaking baby” and I laughed because it’s true and unbelievable at the same time.
On the other hand, I’ve been thinking about how I’m going to miss her kicks in my belly. Wondering if this will be my only time to experience pregnancy. I don’t let myself think about this too much, but it has crossed my mind. We have two frozen embryos left, so who knows what the future holds (God, duh).
Tomorrow is my baby shower and I’m beyond excited to celebrate this little girl. Many of our family and friends know that this actually isn’t our first baby shower. We had one thrown for us when we were foster parents and anticipating a newborn up to a one year old. I remember walking in and crying because I had such mixed emotions. Everything was beautiful, so many of our loved ones gathered, but I felt unworthy as I didn’t have a baby in my belly.
There was also sadness surrounding my own mother not being present. Unfortunately, she will not be at this shower either. A very personal topic I’ve not written about, only spoken to those closest to us. Back then, my parents did not support us fostering/adopting as a way to build our family. And now, presently, we are not on speaking terms as a decision on my part. Many factors play into this, but I needed to do so to stop toxicity and create boundaries for my own sanity. Infertility has changed me as a person and I’ve had the woes of that grief thrown back in my face. By my own mother. By other family. And “friends.” This will probably be a post for another time, but yes; I no longer have relationships with certain people due to them not understanding the deep grief and trauma that is infertility.
With all of that being said, I’ve felt a little anxious about people being able to make it to the shower tomorrow. Majority of family present will be my husband’s, something I’ve grown used to, but it still hurts. I don’t have relationships with many of my own family on either one of my parents’ sides. It’s been that way for many years and although I’ve grown used to it, it still saddens me. It is what it is I suppose. I’m thankful to have so much support from Taylor’s side of the family. It’s been that way our entire marriage and I’m so happy for it.
I wasn’t sure which direction this post was going in, but these are what some of my thoughts have been leading up to the shower. I’m looking forward to wearing my maternity gown, doing my hair and makeup, and seeing those I love shower our girl! Ready to soak it all in. I also may have to get Taylor to paint my toes for me haha! I’m ready to celebrate. ❤
This is the last week of my second trimester! 27 weeks today and it seems to be flying by. I’m soaking up every moment I have this little girl in my belly and I get to feel her movements. She’s definitely getting stronger and I’m feeling her move more often throughout each day.
Taylor has been able to feel a couple of bumps from her, but they were light taps and he wasn’t feeling them as much as I was. But now that she’s stronger, I’m talking full belly movement, he was able to really feel her! Everytime he has gone to feel her, she would stop moving and he was left with disappointment. A couple nights ago she was really dancing around and she kept it up this time. She paused for a second once his hand was there and then he started talking to her which made her move again. He felt a full roll across his hand and he looked up at me with excitement. We both teared up– such a sweet moment.
Over the weekend, Taylor’s cousins came over and painted a mural on the nursery wall and it turned out so beautiful and cute. It was like it was always meant to be there. I’m so excited to finish hanging the rest of the decor. For the most part we have everything organized, that is until the shower lol.
I’m starting to feel tired again, my energy level is going down as expected for the last trimester. Oh I also had my glucose test and passed! I have another ultrasound scheduled in a few weeks to check on my placenta. I’m praying for continued health this pregnancy. I keep imagining meeting our girl for the first time and it brings tears every time.
I’m getting more and more excited about preparing for our baby girl! The nursery is painted and I ordered a dresser/changing table which arrived yesterday. Next will be to start moving our other furniture from my in-law’s house since it’s been stored there for the past several years. After our foster son was removed and we started packing and moving. we decided to store all of the baby stuff at their house. I’ll definitely be feeling mixed emotions going through everything. Aside from some newborn essentials, we mostly have all the big items. I’m looking forward to putting things together and decorating her room.
I’m still in awe of the changes my body has went and continues to go through as it grows this little one. Feeling her movements get stronger and the excitement that comes with it far outweighs the days when I’m achy or in pain. NYE she was moving like crazy and you could really see my stomach move from the outside a lot for the first time! I’m trying to do all the things for a good night’s sleep, but I’m still having some nights when I sleep for a few hours and then I’m wide awake around 4-5 AM. Usually if I eat something small I can fall back to sleep not too long after.
Back pain tends to be the norm now and I’m resting when I can with a heating pad. Stretching helps too. I caught another cold and have been fighting congestion for the past week, so that hasn’t been fun… Also last night I noticed some stretch marks on my boobs and totally thought if I’d get any, they’d be on my stomach first. I grew at least 2 cup sizes so it makes sense to have them I guess lol.
I’ve waited all these years to get pregnant (and have a baby) so now that I’m here, I’m trying to find things to do to occupy myself. Maybe the start of nesting? It’s a weird head space to be in. Not bad by any means, but different. Infertility has become so much of my identity that I’m now having to transition my mindset and self talk away from sad/low emotions to those of joy. I’m telling myself daily that I’m deserving of a pregnancy filled with excitement. I’m deserving to be less worried. I’m deserving of buying things to prepare. I’m deserving to believe I will have a healthy baby.
My next appointment in a couple weeks is the glucose test, then I’ll schedule another ultrasound for a few weeks after that. My placenta was slightly low lying at my last scan and they want to check to see if it’s moved. Praying and hoping it will! I’m happy to get another chance to see her. ❤
Twenty weeks as of yesterday and I jokingly blared Livin’ on a Prayer by Bon Jovi in the house haha.
Everything is sinking in. I’m amazed to be here and it’s definitely feeling more real. We found out we’re having a girl and I was completely surprised. For some reason I had a feeling it was a boy! We both didn’t care which gender as long as baby is healthy.
We have plans for the nursery and I’m so excited to start putting it together after the holidays. I’ve been feeling flutter-like movements for awhile and now I’m feeling stronger, kick-like bumps. Taylor and my MIL have been able to feel from the outside when she was super active and it’s so exciting. And reassuring she’s growing stronger.
My morning sickness subsided around 13/14 weeks, but I do have moments of queasiness here and there. I got my covid booster at the end of November and threw up the next morning, but felt fine after getting lots of rest. The past few days I’ve had a lot of growing (maybe round ligament?) pains and I’ve had to take some extra rest breaks when I’m busy. The back pain is starting to be more consistent too. Oh and some days the hunger has been so intense! I’m starting to show and look like I’m actually pregnant vs. like I just ate a big meal.
I’m enjoying these changes and trying to listen to my body to slow down and rest more. I’m the type of person who always likes to be busy whether it’s errands or things around the house. I feel like a very slow version of myself right now and that’s OK.
It’s still surreal to be here. Halfway to meeting our baby. I dream about hearing her first cry and cannot wait to hold her in my arms.
I took a home test eight days post transfer and before I was even finished dipping it for the required time, the second line appeared so fast. We’ve never come this far. I immediately started ugly crying and ran downstairs with the test in hand to find my husband. He knew I was going to test and he started crying too as soon as I told him. I still have a wave of caution over me, but this is a huge milestone for us. I used the same pee for a digital and it also said “yes.”
So many things can go wrong from here, but I’m soaking up this feeling now. I also want to write this while everything is still fresh in my mind; symptoms I’ve felt over the past week and how I’m processing everything right now.
I tested again Sunday morning (8/22) at nine days post transfer and got another strong line. My official beta/blood draw was Monday (8/23) and it was 380. Two days later on 8/25 (12dpt) it was 724.40. My thyroid numbers are actually looking really good too, I’m so thankful for that added good news.
I did so good this round; I wasn’t overly anxious or stressed about testing early. As the weekend came and my blood draw was getting closer, I felt myself getting a bit anxious. To ease that, I wanted to go ahead and test at home so I wouldn’t feel extra stress. My first ultrasound is September 10th and I could just cry at the thought of it. I have no idea when I’m going to publish this post, but I’m getting it all down now.
For anyone who may be reading this who is also going through IVF or TTC in general, I want to talk about my “symptoms” I felt after the transfer. Everyone is different and if you’re taking progesterone, a lot of pregnancy-like symptoms can be caused by that hormone too.
Our transfer was Friday August 13th and Saturday-Monday I felt very lightheaded and dizzy. We were out running errands and I had to have my husband drive home because I felt so dizzy while I was driving. Very weird. For some TMI: the night of transfer I had fallen asleep in bed and dreamt of having an orgasm. It was so strong it jolted me awake; this has never happened in past transfers. This can be common due to hormones and, some even say, when implantation starts. Tuesday I felt better and was not lightheaded, but then it came back Wednesday when I was out shopping. Shortly after feeling lightheaded again, I started feeling those “tugging/pulling” sensations in my uterus that everyone seems to talk about who is TTC. It wasn’t period cramps, but just exactly how it sounds, like it was being stretched. The “stretching” feeling also radiated to my groin area like in my bikini line. Those sensations continued until I fell asleep that night.
I didn’t read too much into these next things, just made a mental note and went on about my day. After transfer there were a couple days I CRAVED pickles. I’ve always loved pickles and keep some in the fridge for when I feel like eating one. I also never tend to eat fast food aside from Chik-fil-A and Friday night I craved Gold Star Chili (Cincinnati thing) and got two cheese coneys at 10:30 at night. I’ve also been very, very thirsty. I always drink plenty of water throughout the day, but I’m slow at drinking anything I have lol. I’ve been downing vitamin waters and gatorade (zero sugar kind) and regular water like nobody’s business. I have a huge 64 ounce water bottle that I use for my daily water intake and I drank the whole thing before noon on the day of my second beta. The last big change I’ve felt is generally just feeling like total crap. I haven’t been nauseous, but I’ve woken up and felt like I’m totally exhausted and nothing sounds good to eat. Right now I just feel queasy, no nausea (yet).
I’m still in disbelief and feel like I’m in a dream. After six years, we’re finally pregnant. I’m praying things continue to move in the right direction. I’m so excited for this journey.
***I’ve had this post drafted since August 25th. As of November 6th, I’m 14 weeks 6 days pregnant with a singleton. I was pregnant with twins for roughly 8.5 weeks, but baby A stopped growing. To say that day was bittersweet is an understatement. I’ve definitely had morning sickness and have kept it mostly under control with unisom/b6 at night. It’s been easing up now that I’m in the second trimester. I’ve had a heightened gag reflex and for awhile had an aversion to plain water. Thankfully that’s letting up and I’m able to drink it again. I’m also able to eat more of the healthier foods I typically eat, but wanted nothing to do with early on. These hormones are wild!
I just heard baby’s heartbeat yesterday and have my next scan in a week and a half. More updates to come! Praying to have this baby in my arms one day. ❤
I’ve been going back and forth on whether or not I wanted to share that we’re doing another FET (frozen embryo transfer) and I guess a part of me wanted to keep it to myself in case it fails again. To protect my heart this time I think I’m going to keep the transfer date to ourselves-not even telling family-and not mention anything on my insta. Something in me wants to keep it quiet this time and I guess I’m just protecting myself somehow. A huge part of me always wants to share our journey and be vocal about it, but then when it fails I hate having to update everyone that it did. It seems like a lose-lose because it feels good being open and venting. On the other hand, another part of me feels like people are sick of seeing me post about it on insta, so I’ve not been doing that as much. The emotional toll never stops, so I feel like an annoying broken record who can’t be positive. Sigh.
Anywho…
The biopsy results showed that nothing is wrong with my uterine lining and the current length of time the clinic has me on progesterone shows my uterus is receptive for an embryo to implant. In other words, no changes to be made and no further testing left to be done.
We were going to do another transfer cycle end of June/early July, but I would have had to take birth control for a week to pause my cycle since the lab was going to be closed for cleaning. I didn’t want to take unnecessary hormones and felt like my thyroid was off balance from just taking a couple days of the BC. After talking with my doctor, we’re going to do a modified natural cycle again like we did in February, but this time I won’t be taking progesterone at all. Our first transfer I did IM injections of progesterone and our February transfer I did suppositories. The progesterone seems to throw my thyroid off balance and we think, at this point, my thyroid (mainly the antibodies) is to blame for me not being able to get pregnant. I’m getting more lab draws done to check my thyroid and progesterone levels; my progesterone level will be checked on transfer day. If it is below a certain number then they’ll have me start a lower dose suppository, but if it’s above where they want it then I won’t take anything at all.
So my protocol for this cycle is this:
Five days of oral Letrozole (which is now done)
Ultrasound August 1st to check follicle growth and uterine lining
Determine next ultrasound check or when to take trigger shot (Ovidrel) based on stage of growth
Take doxycycline prior to transfer; continue baby aspirin and prenatal vitamin
Transfer two (!) embryos, check progesterone level and supplement if needed
Wait for beta lab draw
Since we have two failed transfers under our belt, the clinic likes to transfer two embryos instead of one. It increases odds of having one stick and we don’t have to pay any extra for the other second embryo. It’s a two-for-one kinda deal. Am I nervous to have twins? Uh yeah. Will I care as long as we’re all healthy? Nope, of course not.
I’ve been keeping up with my acupuncture and I’m amazed at how good it continues to make me feel. My stomach was feeling tender and stimulated from the Letrozole, I don’t know how else to explain it other than that, and after the treatment it felt much calmer. It relaxes me so much and feels as if it realigns my body from within. Such a cool thing. I’m hoping to have acupuncture on the day of or day before my transfer.
It seems too good to be true that this time will work. But somehow I have a tiny sliver of hope left in me. I’m cautiously optimistic. Always cautious. Hopefully my next update will be that we’re pregnant. Hopefully.
xoxo
Listen to an audio version of this post on Anchor here.
Faith, Love, & Dreams 