Time is a Thief

Our baby is eight months old! Eight!! How is this even possible?

She’s crawling everywhere and is a force that can’t be stopped. She’s starting to pull herself to her knees so I’m thinking she’ll be furniture surfing next?? She’s always keeping us on our toes.

She’s also started clapping, leaning in for kisses, giving (open-mouth) kisses (lol), handing toys to us, and she’s saying Dada. We’ve started some solid foods with her since a little before 6 months and she’s definitely sensitive to weird textures, so we’re having to try certain foods a few times before she eats them. It’s such an exciting thing to see her learn and start making these connections with us.

Once she started crawling at about 7.5 months, the next sleep regression/growth spurt started and my gosh that one was the worst yet. A lot of scream crying at naps/bedtime or not sleeping at all. There were two nights one of us sat upright and slept while holding her because she wouldn’t stay asleep otherwise. The moment she felt us trying to lay her down she would wake and start crying. Desperate times! She otherwise has slept in her crib and does great in it.

As hard as those moments are they are SO temporary and all the fun moments outweigh the sleep deprivation. She’s a tiny person going through so much change and growth, I wish I could do more to help her in those times.

This week I’ve had to keep her home with me. The daycare class closed due to a couple teachers catching covid. Thankfully Grace hasn’t shown any symptoms and she seems OK. I’ve been working while taking care of her and it’s definitely hard, but I’m soaking up this extra time I get to spend with her.

It’s really true when people say once their baby is born that it was as if they always existed. For years on this blog I’ve cried and pleaded for this miracle. Tried to imagine her face or her laugh. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t look at her and think “how is she real?” I’m so thankful God brought her to us.

xoxo

Ready to Meet You

♡ 38 WEEKS ♡

My nights of sleep are pretty broken nowadays. Between having to readjust from hip pain to my hands being numb and waking me up, to getting up for my nightly pee and the occasional heartburn, I have lots of things keeping me up. I’m certain this is nature’s way of preparing me for newborn life.

I’m sitting up in bed at the moment as I woke up with an upset stomach/heartburn and just can’t go back to sleep just yet. Little girl starts moving around and I think gosh I’m going to miss feeling her rolls and jabs. But I know the best is yet to come.

I have reached that uncomfortable, I’m tired of being pregnant stage. I’m beyond grateful to experience this and want her to come when she’s ready, but the excitement is building to the day we get to meet her. It’s been a long wait.

I envision her birth and hearing her first cry, getting to hold her for the first time, kissing Taylor amidst tears, all of it. I’m praying for a safe birth for us both and one that isn’t traumatic. My ideal is to be able to birth unmedicated, but I’m keeping an open mind if things change or I can’t handle the pain.

I’m praying I go into labor on my own and I’m trying not to worry about the possibility of not doing so. As of my cervical check last week I didn’t show any dilation/effacement yet. Feeling discouraged. Hopeful my body will do what it’s supposed to on its own. It brought me back to those feelings during our infertility treatments; my body kept failing at what it was supposed to do naturally and that fear crept in again. Another check this week and I’m hoping for some change. I’ve been walking and staying active, while still taking naps and taking lots of rest breaks. Braxton hicks started a couple weeks ago and they’re only occasional.

Pregnancy is such a beautiful, painful, life altering experience and I have no doubt labor and her birth will be the same. My bag is packed, the car seat installed, nursery done. I’m ready to bring you earthside, little one.

xoxo

Nesting?

I’m getting more and more excited about preparing for our baby girl! The nursery is painted and I ordered a dresser/changing table which arrived yesterday. Next will be to start moving our other furniture from my in-law’s house since it’s been stored there for the past several years. After our foster son was removed and we started packing and moving. we decided to store all of the baby stuff at their house. I’ll definitely be feeling mixed emotions going through everything. Aside from some newborn essentials, we mostly have all the big items. I’m looking forward to putting things together and decorating her room.

I’m still in awe of the changes my body has went and continues to go through as it grows this little one. Feeling her movements get stronger and the excitement that comes with it far outweighs the days when I’m achy or in pain. NYE she was moving like crazy and you could really see my stomach move from the outside a lot for the first time! I’m trying to do all the things for a good night’s sleep, but I’m still having some nights when I sleep for a few hours and then I’m wide awake around 4-5 AM. Usually if I eat something small I can fall back to sleep not too long after.

Back pain tends to be the norm now and I’m resting when I can with a heating pad. Stretching helps too. I caught another cold and have been fighting congestion for the past week, so that hasn’t been fun… Also last night I noticed some stretch marks on my boobs and totally thought if I’d get any, they’d be on my stomach first. I grew at least 2 cup sizes so it makes sense to have them I guess lol.

I’ve waited all these years to get pregnant (and have a baby) so now that I’m here, I’m trying to find things to do to occupy myself. Maybe the start of nesting? It’s a weird head space to be in. Not bad by any means, but different. Infertility has become so much of my identity that I’m now having to transition my mindset and self talk away from sad/low emotions to those of joy. I’m telling myself daily that I’m deserving of a pregnancy filled with excitement. I’m deserving to be less worried. I’m deserving of buying things to prepare. I’m deserving to believe I will have a healthy baby.

My next appointment in a couple weeks is the glucose test, then I’ll schedule another ultrasound for a few weeks after that. My placenta was slightly low lying at my last scan and they want to check to see if it’s moved. Praying and hoping it will! I’m happy to get another chance to see her. ❤

xoxo

Halfway There

Twenty weeks as of yesterday and I jokingly blared Livin’ on a Prayer by Bon Jovi in the house haha.

Everything is sinking in. I’m amazed to be here and it’s definitely feeling more real. We found out we’re having a girl and I was completely surprised. For some reason I had a feeling it was a boy! We both didn’t care which gender as long as baby is healthy.

We have plans for the nursery and I’m so excited to start putting it together after the holidays. I’ve been feeling flutter-like movements for awhile and now I’m feeling stronger, kick-like bumps. Taylor and my MIL have been able to feel from the outside when she was super active and it’s so exciting. And reassuring she’s growing stronger.

My morning sickness subsided around 13/14 weeks, but I do have moments of queasiness here and there. I got my covid booster at the end of November and threw up the next morning, but felt fine after getting lots of rest. The past few days I’ve had a lot of growing (maybe round ligament?) pains and I’ve had to take some extra rest breaks when I’m busy. The back pain is starting to be more consistent too. Oh and some days the hunger has been so intense! I’m starting to show and look like I’m actually pregnant vs. like I just ate a big meal.

I’m enjoying these changes and trying to listen to my body to slow down and rest more. I’m the type of person who always likes to be busy whether it’s errands or things around the house. I feel like a very slow version of myself right now and that’s OK.

It’s still surreal to be here. Halfway to meeting our baby. I dream about hearing her first cry and cannot wait to hold her in my arms.

xoxo