I’ve been asked this question countless times whether at my job or in everyday life. Time and time again I’ve had to say “No, I don’t have any yet” with such a feeling of sadness.
After we got licensed as foster parents I kept imagining where I would be and what I’d be doing when I got the call for a child to be placed with us. Would it be on Thanksgiving? At the Christmas tree farm? Would I be working? Or at home? I also kept imagining what his or her little face would look like.
Never did I imagine we’d get an almost one year old little boy! And from another foster family at that! The love he was given from that family has given him the start he deserved in his first month of life, but sadly didn’t get.
Even so, I wouldn’t want it any other way. The past week has been a huge adjustment both for us and little man. We’re tired. I caught a cold. Tay and I always talk in whispers while he’s sleeping. We have already seen him get more steady at standing on his own and even take his first 2 baby steps. I love every bit of this. It’s all worth it to give him the love and security he desperately needs– he’s been through so much in his short life so far.
We know this isn’t permanent. We may not end up having the opportunity to adopt him. We keep saying, “We will love him for however long we have him.” If he leaves us, a little piece of me will go with him. That’s the hard part about all of this. No matter what, though, we will trust in God for his plan to unfold for us and this little guy.
For the past two years we’ve wanted a family of our own. Someone who we could share our love with and never think twice about it. The first night when he was brought to our home, Taylor’s family was here. While in the kitchen making dinner, Tay’s brother was holding little man while Tay’s mom was playing peek-a-boo behind his back. All I heard was little man’s laughter and giggles filling up the room. I instantly started to well up with tears and had to hold them back. So much information and emotions were processed that evening and it all hit me in that moment. I thought to myself: This is what I’ve been longing for.
Yesterday I was at Kroger buying a birthday cake for him as he just turned one on Thursday. I was talking with a woman who was telling me about a Christmas event at our town’s community center. She asked me that same old question: Do you have kids? My reply with confidence: Yes, yes I do.