Up in the Air

I hate the feeling of not knowing what’s going to happen next.

I lay in bed thinking about all the different ways my, and our, life could possibly go and my head spins. I have to distract myself or else I’ll drive myself crazy.

I put in a 30-day notice at my job and I don’t have something else lined up for after I’m gone. I know, this isn’t very smart, but I needed some sort of finality to ease my stress I’m experiencing while at work.

A few of my client’s have cried and others don’t seem affected one way or the other about my leaving. I know I’ve done good work and I have to tell them that my own life is changing and it’s time for me to move on.

We want to start our own family and although we have have just enough to get by with our bills, we can’t seem to get ahead. We all know “social workers don’t do it for the money” but there are definitely jobs out there that pay more than what I’m making now. It honestly breaks my heart and took me a month and a half to come to the decision that I was actually going to leave.

I have the opportunity to learn more about a position that was unexpectedly brought to me by one of the landlords I currently work with, so we’ll see where that goes. I also got a call from Council on Aging yesterday about a case management position. So my mind feels a little more at ease. It’s so incredibly frustrating to put in probably 30 applications and only hear back from 2 agencies, one from COA and the other to deny me for “not being experienced enough.”

It baffles me that companies expect you to have 3-5 years experience, but when you’ve recently graduated you can’t help it that you haven’t accumulated the experience just yet. They need to give me a chance. It makes me feel so defeated.

Anyways…

I think about the ‘what ifs’ a lot and I need to distract myself to help ease all of those thoughts. I pray a lot about it too and try to remind myself that just when I’m assuming the worst, God is working in the background to surprise me.

How do you deal with your own moments in life when you feel like things are “up in the air?” Leave me a comment below!

xoxo

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