Exhaustion

I’ve been really tired after a long day, ready to hit my pillow come the time, and fall right to sleep.

That hasn’t happened in so long, I can’t remember when it was. I also can’t remember the last time I slept in.

Even though I’m exhausted and NEED sleep, I can’t stay asleep or get enough good sleep. It’s always restless. And I’m constantly tired. I’ve never experienced this for such a long period of time. So I started to wonder: what could be the cause? What has changed within my body that could cause this?

New medicine; the very low dose of medication for my hypothyroidism. Something I was given to regulate a-not-so-higher-than-normal hormone level to keep it in check for when I do become pregnant. I read the leaflet that came with the medicine and read the common side effects (I at least read those so I can know what to look for if something goes wrong). Once I saw that feelings of anxiety were a side effect I thought, “Oh, great. Just what I need more of.” After a couple months of restless sleep on top of stress, anxiety, and worry, I began to feel overwhelmed.

Quick to snap or get frustrated at every little thing. Falling asleep in the car on the way to and from work. Crying because I can’t remember what it felt like to nap or sleep well in general.

I called the doctor who prescribed it and let the nurses know what was going on. The response? “Oh, those are common side effects of the generic medication.” I could have screamed. If I had known the name brand would be less likely to cause these symptoms (trouble sleeping and increased appetite) I would have opted for it. Why was I never told about this by the doctor or pharmacist?!

I’m also getting increasingly angry for the doctor not calling me back to let me know if we would be moving forward to switch my medicine. Last week I had blood drawn to check my levels and they’re where they should be. It wasn’t until more than a week after the blood draw that I had to call the office to speak with a nurse about whether or not I’d be able to switch to the name brand medicine.

This is probably a bad idea, I realize that, but I’m not taking the dose for today. It’s 7:45 AM and I’ve been awake since 6:30, unable to fall back to sleep. I’m still laying in bed and I’m already annoyed at the dogs playing and Tay watching a video on his phone. These things should not bother me. 

It’s the utter lack of sleep that’s causing all of these feelings and I’m done with it. I felt completely fine before taking the medication and now I’m too hungry to satisfy and can’t get any rest.

Until I get the new medication is when I’ll start taking it again. I need to advocate for myself and my body. Living life in exhaustion isn’t much of a life…

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