O.K. I had to do it.
There have been so many responses to this girl’s blog post, I call her a girl because of her clear lack of maturity, and I couldn’t help but speak my mind as well. Her post actually made me angry and I even showed it to Taylor. He shared in my disdain for this girl and her pointless list. If you missed it, I posted a link on my Facebook earlier this month about another woman’s response to the blog post, 23 Things To Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23
. Maybe that was the point of her post, just to create a bunch of backlash and get people all worked up, or maybe she really is just that ignorant. I guess we’ll never know for sure.
Her list made me angry for a lot of the same reasons it did other women who are married or planning to get married. I will probably say many similar things that others did in their responses. I suppose this is for my own peace of mind so I can get this annoyance out of my head.
This girl is essentially saying that young marriage is a “cop out” for these inexperienced couples and she has “experienced more of the world in the last 22 years than my married peers will ever experience in their life.”
Those statements are what get under my skin the most. It’s more than the fact that I’m 20 and engaged (and will only be 21 when I’m actually married). I’m in no way using my engagement and future marriage as a “safety blanket” for life. If anything, life will get harder once I’m married because of actually having to live on our own and being responsible for ourselves. I’m more than happy to spend the rest of my life with someone who loves me just as much as I love him. In fact, he’s my best friend and I wouldn’t want to go through life’s challenges with anyone else. Facing challenge is much harder alone. But when someone is there to provide support, love, guidance, etc., it’s so much easier.
I’m also quite certain I’ve not missed out on any more in my past 20 years than she has in hers. Granted, she might have traveled more than me or done different things than I have, but I’ve been through high school and am now in college probably just like she has. Those things in and of themselves are experiences. To make grand generalizations that every young marriage involves inexperienced couples who are basically going to miss out on life is her opinion.
I think she’s downright wrong, but an opinion nonetheless.
I’m going to experience twice as much in my life with a partner than she will alone. The belief that you can no longer do things alone once you’re married is completely ludicrous. I know plenty of married couples who do things alone because it’s their thing, something they love to do. On top of the things I will still get to experience alone, I will also get to experience things like living with the man I love, having a family, getting a pet, traveling (when we can afford it), cooking for each other, doing various hobbies and things we both enjoy. All with my fiance. My future husband.
I highly doubt she is all that much more experienced than I am, being just two years older. I’m not saying I lead an incredibly exciting life full of parties or traveling across the world, but I’m happy. Our idea of fun is staying in to make dinner together, eat it, then watch a funny movie. I’m choosing to experience the rest of my life in happiness with someone by my side to share it with, both good and bad times to come. I’m not choosing to “settle down” because I’m afraid of life either. I thoroughly enjoy life. Why would I want to do it alone rather than with someone whom I love and can help me through anything?
Bottom line is, if her idea of fun involves to “be selfish”, I’m pretty sure I’ve been selfish my entire childhood (being the baby of the family) and since being in college and in an almost three-year-long relationship, I’ve decided it’s time to start thinking about others rather than myself. Or “make out with a stranger”, Um, no thanks. I have no idea where that person’s mouth has been and I’m sure my fiance is a much better kisser. Or even to “date two people at once and see how long it takes to blow up in your face”, we are from two completely different worlds. And I don’t want to be a part of hers…..