Letter to Myself.

During my shift today at the call center I was reading an issue of Self magazine. I hardly read this magazine, but I have read them every once in awhile because of my mom giving them to me. Most of the time I like to read the health and exercise tips as well as the personal stories they put in there. I’m not really into the clothing they put in there as most of it is up in the $300 range which is just a tad bit above my spending limit (that’s an understatement of course!). Anyway, I stumbled upon this story under the Self Expression section and it was this girl’s story about writing a letter to herself. At the age of 17, a senior in high school, she was to write a letter to herself as a class assignment, which she would read ten years from the time of her writing it. She had to answer the questions: Who did she wish to be at the age of 27? and If she could say anything in the world to her future self, what would it be? Of course she had her own personal story involving the receiving of the letter to her then 27-year-old self, she’s 29 now, but I won’t go into that much detail. After reading about her life situation at the time and where she imagined herself being back when she was 17, was completely different. This made me want to do the same thing.

I was so intrigued at the thought of writing about what I expected my future to be ten years from now, and then to see if it turned out how I had imagined. When I was in high school I never really thought much about my future. I knew I would go to college, but I just never imagined where I would live or what things I would pursue while I was in college. Thinking about this now, I have a pretty ideal picture of what I want my life to be like after college…

At the young age of 14, a freshman in high school, I thought being 20 sounded so old. Boy was I wrong. In roughly two weeks I’ll be 20, no longer a teenager, a true adult.

Here come the twenties.

I certainly don’t feel old. I also could never imagine myself looking this old when I was still in high school (in reality I don’t look my age at all, since I’m mistaken for being 16 all the time. I know I’ll appreciate that in the future, I suppose). I definitely don’t feel any different, but I would like to think I look older and more womanly. It’s strange how you could never in a million years imagine being as old as your parents and then one day you’re there. I know I’ll be at the age of 40, looking back and thinking, “Holy crap, where has the time gone?”

The letter I want to write myself would answer those same questions the girl from the magazine answered for herself…so here goes.

Dear Me-

Ten years from now, at the age of 30, you’re going to be reading this. Sitting here in my little apartment, life seems safe. Mom and Dad are still there to bail me out when I need help with buying things. I’m independent, yet still need to depend on them every now and then. I am so afraid of failing at my life after college, but I need to always remember God has a plan for me and it will work out in the end no matter what. Ten years from now I want to be a wife and a mother. More than that, I want to be a successful social worker. These goals are things I intend to make happen. Marrying my high school sweetheart isn’t far from my reach. Neither is finishing college.

If I could tell my future self anything I would say, Never lose faith in God. No matter what crazy things happen in your life. And to take your child(ren) to church so they can know Him too. There’s nothing more that I want than to be a loving and caring person to everyone around me, so please remember to take a deep breath when things get rough. I stress too much now, and I need to fix that. I can’t put my family through my crazy stress too, it isn’t fair to them. Knowing who I want to be with for the rest of my life makes it easy for me to imagine who I’m going to be living with and what kind of life I want to have. Just remember how strong your love and affection with Taylor is now, after two years and some months, and keep it that strong when you’re both 30.

Please know now that you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. This year I’m going to learn more in-depth details about the generalist practice of social work and I’m really looking forward to it. What I’m utterly afraid of is taking different cases home with me and becoming depressed from my work. Don’t do that. Grow a thick skin and keep it that way. God has a crazy plan for everyone’s life, just try to be someone positive/influential in everyone’s life even when they ignore it.

Living in a beautiful home with a couple of children and my husband is something I can see my life being like. Marriage and children aren’t easy, I know that now. But everything will be O.K. if you take a deep breath and remember your partner is there beside you to help. The most beautiful and challenging things in life are what are the most worth having. I have such a positive outlook on life now, please don’t lose that. Don’t become cynical. There are still good people in this world, I promise.

I see where my life is going after college and I hope it has turned out that way. Whether or not you have successfully become all of the things you want to be and done all of the things you wanted to do, I want you to be happy with your life. Just be happy and enjoy your life.

xoxo,
Me

Well there it is. And another long post. I’m going to try to print that so I can put it into an envelope and tuck it away somewhere or give it to my parents to give it to me when I’m 30. Such an interesting thing to think about…so far into the future. I can’t wait to see where I’m at in my life ten years from now.

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